Unless you've been living under a rock in a galaxy far, far away, you've probably heard that the last installment in the Harry Potter movie series premieres this week. What you probably haven't heard is that online book retailer Lulu.com has a special promotion running this week that'll get you 20% off any order. Just enter the word BIG at checkout and save some green! You can use it to purchase a paperback or eBook copy of my novel, "Crawl" or maybe even some Harry Potter books, if you haven't read them yet (for shame)!
Since it's "All Things Harry Potter" week pretty much everywhere there's some semblance of civilization, I thought I'd join in on the fun. Though they seem to do this every weekend, the ABC Family channel had a Harry Potter marathon on over the last few days. I've heard the titles so many times that they almost start to lose meaning. So as I was watching them for the umpteenth time, I started to think of new titles for them, titles that represented either my favorite scenes or most memorable differences from the books. This is what I came up with:
1) Harry Potter and the Troll Bogies
2) Harry Potter and the Letter Opener (honestly, was Gryffindor a goblin? That sword was barely bigger than a wand!)
3) Harry Potter and the Anorexic Werewolf (or Harry Potter and Doctor Who, if you prefer David Tennant as the Doctor instead of Barty Crouch Ju-nee-or the Death-Eater)
4) Harry Potter and the Boob Hats (makes me laugh like a 12-year-old boy every time)
5) Harry Potter and the Awkward Teenage Groping
6) Harry Potter and the...Wait, Are These Kids Even Going to Class Anymore?
7) Harry Potter and the Death of Pretty Much Everyone Else That Was Still Alive: Parts 1 and 2
What do you think, did I hit the mark? Do you have any suggestions for alternate titles? Leave them in the comments below!