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Monday, July 11, 2011

Harry Potter and the Lulu Discount

Unless you've been living under a rock in a galaxy far, far away, you've probably heard that the last installment in the Harry Potter movie series premieres this week. What you probably haven't heard is that online book retailer has a special promotion running this week that'll get you 20% off any order. Just enter the word BIG at checkout and save some green! You can use it to purchase a paperback or eBook copy of my novel, "Crawl" or maybe even some Harry Potter books, if you haven't read them yet (for shame)!

Since it's "All Things Harry Potter" week pretty much everywhere there's some semblance of civilization, I thought I'd join in on the fun. Though they seem to do this every weekend, the ABC Family channel had a Harry Potter marathon on over the last few days. I've heard the titles so many times that they almost start to lose meaning. So as I was watching them for the umpteenth time, I started to think of new titles for them, titles that represented either my favorite scenes or most memorable differences from the books. This is what I came up with:

1) Harry Potter and the Troll Bogies
2) Harry Potter and the Letter Opener (honestly, was Gryffindor a goblin? That sword was barely bigger than a wand!)
3) Harry Potter and the Anorexic Werewolf (or Harry Potter and Doctor Who, if you prefer David Tennant as the Doctor instead of Barty Crouch Ju-nee-or the Death-Eater)
4) Harry Potter and the Boob Hats (makes me laugh like a 12-year-old boy every time)
5) Harry Potter and the Awkward Teenage Groping
6) Harry Potter and the...Wait, Are These Kids Even Going to Class Anymore?
7) Harry Potter and the Death of Pretty Much Everyone Else That Was Still Alive: Parts 1 and 2

What do you think, did I hit the mark? Do you have any suggestions for alternate titles? Leave them in the comments below!


Friday, July 8, 2011

Mad Libs Winner!

Earlier this week, I posted the three entries for the Mad Libs contest. After much deliberation, I have decided on a winner! Here is Keith's entry:

The redundant, rigor-mortis-induced, mottled purple Fairly Oddparent galloped up the hill to visit the feverish Princess. Unfortunately, the Princess was out whimpering over word counts, so the Fairly Oddparent went to Anchorage, Alaska and made some illustrious Starbucks.

While the other two submissions were hilarious in their own right, I had to go with Keith's for two reasons:
1) "whimpering over word counts" made me laugh out loud every time I read it
2) For some reason, I like to think that this is how Sarah Palin got to Alaska

Now, to the victor go the spoils! While I don't have much in the way of swag, I will gladly post a shout out for Keith's blog, "The Midnight Creepshow." From Keith's profile - Forty something, once was Dick Smith student now living the dream with my family on our horse farm. Hoping to be a published writer someday and a collected artist perhaps.

It's a fairly new blog with some promising writing by way of his short story, "Last Stop." And Keith clearly has good taste in horror movies, as his blog post shows. So stop by The Midnight Creepshow, congratulate Keith on his Mad Libs' skills and check out his work!


Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Vote for the Winner of Mad Libs!

On Friday, I asked for volunteers from the viewing audience to submit ten words to be plugged into a Mad Libs story. I only received 3 submissions, so I'll be able to show you all of them today. I'd imagine most of you had better things to do like visit with family, hit the beach 62 hot dogs in 10 minutes.

America is gross.
Anyway, here is the following basic template I had for the Mad Lib:

The (1)(2)(3) climbed the hill to (4) the (5) Princess. Unfortunately, the Princess was out (6)(7), so (3) went to (8) and made some (9)(10).

And here is my harmless story that went along with it:

The scaly green dragon climbed the hill to visit the lonely Princess. Unfortunately, the Princess was out collecting flowers, so the dragon went home and made some delicious tea.

Perfectly fine, although a bit boring. Now, with a few minor grammatical tweaks by me, let's take a look at what our contestants wanted to do with the Princess:

1) The redundant, rigor-mortis-induced, mottled purple Fairly Oddparent galloped up the hill to visit the feverish Princess. Unfortunately, the Princess was out whimpering over word counts, so the Fairly Oddparent went to Anchorage, Alaska and made some illustrious Starbucks.

2) The swell, scarlet chupacabra climbed the hill to chew the lawless Princess. Unfortunately, the Princess was out painting onions, so the chupacabra went to the barbershop and made some comfortable gillyweed.

3) The voracious, macaroni-and-cheese-colored General Sherman climbed the hill to swallow the pleasing Princess. Unfortunately, the Princess was out stroking fingers, so General Sherman went behind the couch and made some dominating roofie-coladas.

The fun thing about Mad Libs is how quickly they can turn inappropriate.

So now it's up to YOU to determine which version is the best! Please vote by putting your order (Best > Okay > Worst) in the comments section. Also, please let me know if you'd like to do future Mad Libs!

And a happy belated 4th of July everyone!


Friday, July 1, 2011

Play Mad Libs with Vincent Kale!

You may have heard the news that earlier this month that Leonard Stern, co-creator of Mad Libs, had passed away. In honor of his memory (and all the great times I had as a young writerlet filling out pages of Mad Libs), I thought we'd play a version of the game today.

For those poor souls out there who have never played Mad Libs, it's quite simple! I'll give you a list of parts of speech and you pick a word that matches that category. Then I'll use your words to fill in the blanks of an already scripted story. Piece of cake, right? But creativity is key, here. So if I ask for a color and you say, "Yellow," that's fine, I guess...if you want to be boring. But if you say "schoolbus yellow" or "jaundiced-liver yellow," then things will get more interesting. Ready?

1) adjective
2) color
3) noun (creature)
4) verb
5) adjective
6) verb
7) plural noun
8) noun (place)
9) adjective
10) noun (food or drink)

Leave your answers (*with corresponding numbers please!*) in the comments section below. At the end of the day (or weekend, depending on # of responses), I'll post the winner and honorable mentions! The winner gets everlasting and immortal fame on the interwebs! That do anything for ya? Eh, maybe I'll see if I can sweeten the deal a little. Have at it!